Victoria's Secret... To The Rules

So over coffee one day, I brought up the topic of rules that I followed when I was single and dating. To my surprise, not all of them were met with laughter - in fact, I actually received a few head nods. I thought I would share some of them, warts and all...

Never accept a date with less than 48 hours notice
When I was growing up, my mama would pull me aside and tell me that to pique a man's interest, I was never to accept a date with less than 48 hours notice - even if I was free - and I was never to volunteer a time when I would be free, just to say that I already had plans. She said that this would make the man wonder "why is she busy, and who is she busy with?". I wish I could say that this antiquated advice would prevent a second request for a date, but to be honest IT WORKED! The guys I dated learned that I would not jump at the chance to spend time with them, that if they wanted to spend time with me they would have to work for it.

Never accept "Maybe" dates
His question: "Do you maybe want to get together this weekend to do something?"
My answer: "No"
His question: "Do you want to get together this Sunday for brunch at Restaurant X?"
My answer: "Yes"
"Maybe" dates are too gray and I refuse to wait by the phone wondering if he is going to call so we can "maybe" meet up. It is also a way for the guy to weazel an excuse out of why he didn't meet me ("It wasn't set in stone, I said maybe..."). "Maybe" dates also prevent me from dressing properly for the date.

Rudeness is NEVER acceptable
If the guy is rude to the servers for no reason, I have actually ended the date and walked out. There is no excuse to be rude to someone. Trust me - I am NOT impressed. And no, I don't care who you are...

Don't be a bad tipper
In my experience, guys who are bad tippers are usually bad in bed.

Chivalry is not dead
If you are walking up to a doorway, the guy should make a quick step ahead of you and open the door. If he picks you up in his car, the guy should hold the door open for you to get in. If the guy drove and it is raining, he should offer to bring the car around to the entrance. If you are walking along the street, the guys should walk between you and the road. These small gestures don't cost a red cent, and impresses me more than fancy restaurants or flowers.

Sweet Chariot
If a guy picks me up, and his car is a filthy mess inside, he does not get a second date with me. I don't want to be forced to push aside old newspapers to find a spot on the seat or kick aside (hopefully) empty drink cups. Besides, you had 48 hours notice for our date, you had time to clean the car...

Whoever asks, pays
Sorry Girls, if you ask the guy for coffee/ drinks/ dinner - you pay. However, the invitee should still make the move to reach for the check or offer to pay.

First date, seperate vehicles
On a first date, I have never had the guy pick me up at my place. 1) I don't know you , you think I am going to give you my home address? 2) If the date is going very badly, I don't have to sit through a very uncomfortable ride home and the awkward "thanks for the date, but I am not inviting you upstairs for coffee" conversation . 3) If the date is going well, this keeps the PDA under control - if he wants more than a smooch on the cheek goodnight, he'll have to make a second date... with 48 hours notice.

So here are a few of my rules, for better or worse. Stay tuned for more....


Victoria